The first time I saw a beating heart

I wish I could say it happened with style...

The journey to becoming a heart surgeon is not a short nor an easy one, but it sure is an exciting one. I'd known I wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a little girl, I was always fascinated by hospitals and the bustling of people willing to help everyone and anyone who walked through the front doors. It wasn't until I was in my undergraduate studies and fortunate enough to spend time in a general surgeon's office that I knew I didn't want to just be a doctor, I wanted to be a surgeon. I think one of the most satisfying elements of a surgical practice is correctly identifying a patient's problem and being able to offer a solution using our hands.

Circa 2013 when I received my stethoscope. That's my beautiful Mama on the right!

Within the first month of medical school, you have the opportunity to shadow a physician or surgeon to see what their day to day is like. I knew I was really interested in surgery and I saw that there was a heart surgeons name on that list (he also happens to be a local comedian), I thought "hey, go big or go home." So I showed up to the hospital thinking I would meet him in his office for a chat but to my surprise I was directed to the operating room. I was given scrubs and brought to the operating theatre where he was operating that day.

My heart was pounding with nerves because I had no idea how the OR etiquette was supposed to go, I mean I had watched Grey's Anatomy, but let me tell you - it could not be anymore different. I awkwardly introduce myself and tell him that I would like to arrange a shadowing experience and he looks at me and asks "do you know how to scrub?" I luckily knew how, so he told me to "come on in, your shadowing experience starts now." I couldn't believe it, I was going to see heart surgery today.

The surgery starts and my mind is BLOWN, they are using a literal saw to cut open this patient's sternum. Shortly after, the pericardium (sac that your heart sits in) is opened and I see the heart for the first time just beating away, the most beautiful organ I had ever seen.

I think everyone is always worried when there is a new person in the operating room for the fear that they may faint, but I was hooked on the adrenaline of just watching this organ function that you feel beating in your chest every day, that I knew this is what I had to do.

Side note: everyone always says take deep breaths to calm yourself down, I often place my hand over my heart or listen with my stethoscope and remind myself that I am alive. Give it a try sometime (maybe not the stethoscope part).

That moment of pure amazement very quickly turned to embarrassment when I decided to open my big, overly curious mouth. I was standing there watching when out of the corner of my eye I noticed the writing on the whiteboard - patient X, CABG. I start thinking, CABG (thinking cabbage in my head) what a weird name to call a surgical procedure. Instead of being an individual with enough common sense to wait till I got home to google it, I asked about it.

That's me on the right doing cool things :)

I asked the surgeon "why is it called a CABG?" He turns to look at me and goes "what do you mean?" That would have been a perfect opportunity to stop talking, but instead I proceed to say "well, isn't that a strange name to call a procedure, where does CABG come from?" (I'm totally thinking cabbage the vegetable). At that time the anesthesiologist bursts out laughing and yells "o nooo, poor baby deer caught in headlights, she thinks it is named after a vegetable." I think even with my surgical mask on, the entire room could tell how red my face had gotten. The surgeon just calmly looks at me and laughs while telling me, "it means coronary artery bypass grafting (C.A.B.G)." Ahh now I got it, it was an acronym. I stayed pretty quiet the rest of the case.

Luckily for me, that embarrassing moment was just the funny beginning to what has now turned into my future career and I couldn't be happier!

Tune into this blog to hear all things cardiac surgery related!